To break a person’s confidence, or to breach the trust of someone can cause death to the innocent. I.e. Murder or suicide. That may sound a harsh way of putting it, but sometimes it is necessary, not to dress the truth up, even though it is not easy to swallow in one go. At street talk we have found that putting the most tragic of events into the form of a more easily digested story, for us to think deeply about and discover the true meaning, message and moral for our selves to be the best and most efficient way of coming to terms with situations, that life seems to throw at us all, from time to time. Unfortunately some of us look like we receive more than our fair share of the apparently down side of things! If you manage to keep your kindness throughout all the adversities, you have no need to worry, because we are all going to die in the end, but what will count then? At street talk we know, that when we die it is how you have lived your life that will count. Did you ever try to find out what the real truth is? Why are we really here? And why most of us are suffering in one way or an another? We would like to help you find out the truth.


It is obvious that it is not pleasant to those who are on the receiving end of other people’s in-discretions. Outside working hours. I will say again you can judge, but you cannot condemn. Your right as a counselor is to judge the person who is in front of you, but you must not condemn the people you are dealing with, especially to outside bodies who want to condemn them.


How do some counselors breach confidentiality?
Taking the problems of other people home with them.
Talking over pints in pubs, gossip and idle chit chat, treating the problems they have encountered as public property.
Passing on what has been told to them, to the rule enforcers and rule makers.
Telling other organized bodies.
Telling unauthorized bodies.
Naming the person the problem has to do with.
Creating circumstances for creating suicide e.t.c.


There are many problems that go with the above.
Most good counselors will say, ‘Am I doing the wrong thing? Or the right thing’ and others will say, ‘lets do wrong then it will come out right.’ The best out of them all will say ‘you have done wrong but let us talk about what are you going to do to make things right,’ and so on! The counselor should have remembered that they are not there to condemn, but to give choices to whomever is being dealt with, providing the counselor knows all the choices.


heard a story about an elephant whose father was shot for being a rogue. His bones were stripped bare, even the tusks were removed. Every one in the herd stood by while this was going on, wondering if it was going to happen to them. When fear arose amongst them, they went deeper into the jungle.


Mummy, ‘why did the vultures, lions, hyaenas and all the other beings strip my dad?’ ‘Son’, my mum said ‘ when we are really safe I will tell you, but please, keep up for I don’t want to lose you too.’ We walked for miles that day everything in the path of the herd was crushed, until the fear subsided. All the mothers kept their thoughts to them selves and got on with the daily chores. ‘Why do the rhinos tell us where to eat mum?’ ‘Because they were put in charge of the jungle by the human apes.’ ‘Aren’t they murderers?’ ‘ Yes, so don’t say anything to them, or else mummy will get into trouble and don’t get on to their path because they are very short sighted and won’t hesitate to injure you. They have no feelings, only for their own tribe and some times they will injure their own, if, the human apes want it to happen and some times on their own accord.’ One day I strayed from my mother, in fact I had done it a few times, so my mother thought I should see a counselor. My main concern was that the counselor told my mother that she must tell me the truth otherwise, I will grow up to be disturbed.


I can understand that you are afraid to do this and that your child is asking awkward questions that might land both of you in trouble.


You must consider the options : Don’t tell your child the truth.
Keep your child quiet.


Tell the child white lies; although it will disturb him later in life and hope you will live long enough to tell him the truth.


Short ears told everyone it is better to be alive than dead and to go quietly munching there lives away, and needless to say he died from old age. Yet, long ears said. ‘Every one had the right to know the truth, whether they were friend or foe, providing that the person telling the truth was a teacher and not a preacher and that the teacher only provided the information that was at hand.’ Learning, is not down to the ability of the student alone, but it is in direct proportion to the skill, delivery and love that the teacher has for his students.

It was once said:   
 'a combination of the Teacher and the Taught is what makes the teachings'.             


This was great for all the short ears who were brought up to obey everyone whether it was right or wrong, and today we see the fear in them as they withdraw deeper and deeper into the jungle. Why do they follow the status quo? Because they were just taught enough to enable all the control freaks to do what they like with them. How have they got away with this for so long? That is easy, just mix a lot of lies with a touch of truth, and then they will become pliable to your suggestions. Is that a nice way to be in control? If it is, who is it nice for?


I am now going to tell a story about a family whose father was always drunk. He had two children, a boy and a girl. The father was given a piece of land every two weeks so that he could feed his family. Outwardly, they were clean and well dressed, but the girl had a problem, she could not stop telling lies. I wondered why this was? I had a casual chat with her mother. She did not know who I was, she praised her husband on his ability for feeding and clothing the family.


The conversation went like this. ‘How did your husband come by the land?’ ‘He was given it by those in charge.’ ‘How does he have more land than the family next to him?’ ‘Because he has d.l.a syndrome.’ ‘Is his doctor prescribing any other medicines?’ ‘No! We manage nicely now.’ ‘We have everything we want!’ ‘I sense you have a bit of animosity in your voice.’ ‘I am trying to control it, but most of the matriarchs have more than us, I mean my family. Can I say something to you in confidence?’ ‘Yes!’


‘ A few years ago, we were poor and nobody would employ my husband, he had a brain disorder.’ ‘ Has he hurt you in the past?’ ‘He wouldn't do that now.’ ‘How did you get those scars?’ ‘It was an accident, he did not mean to do it’. ‘When did he do this? Was it before the children were born? Talking about children why did you have them?’ ‘He wanted a boy and I wanted a girl. They are beautiful children.’ ‘Yes they are, aren’t they. They both look like you.’ ‘Thank you.’ ‘How is your husband with the children?’ ‘He loves them, but he punishes them if they do wrong on our land. The punishments are very stern and he hits them for there own good. My husband say’s the girl takes after me.’ ‘What does he mean by that?’ ‘He say’s she is very pleasing.’


Two years later I had a chance to see the children again; they were now eight and eleven. I kept a close eye on them for a while. A girl in a neighboring piece of land would greet everyone who came by. The parents of that child were very polite with their manners and mannerisms. Over the next few months her behavior changed, during that period she was a friend of the daughter of the drunkard father. I asked her why she does not greet anyone anymore? There was no reply.


The short ear on an adjoining piece of land was a bit of an eccentric, but always kept him self to himself. If someone greeted him, he would return the greeting. There was a bad feeling building up inside the father who was drunk most of the time, against his polite neighbour, he was beginning to dislike him intensely so he started turning people against him.bullying.


To summarize:
What was the drunken father hiding?
The eccentric says he was accosted and assaulted by the drunk showing off to his family. The drunk was told he was a bully and that he must be bulling his children, with that he went off quietly.


How does a bully become a bully?
Usually the parents pass on this trait. It is an attribute of wickedness. We have to decide whether bullying is on a par with wickedness or does wickedness stand on its own?


For a deeper explanation of what a bully is read the page entitled bullying.
Please do not hesitate to contact Street talk about any concerns you may have, on any subject.
 

A long time ago there was a boy who was born blind.  When he was five he was sent to school, when he got to the school the teacher said to him,
 “Here is a blue bowl, go out in the street and beg”.
  All his life he shouted, “Can I have some money in my blue bowl?”  Halfway through his life, a tramp came along and said “You know your bowl, it is not blue”.
He didn’t take notice of the old tramp because he had the best teacher and knew everything.
 The boy carried on shouting “Can I have some money in my blue bowl?”
  Anyway, he got to about 80 years old and died; outside the gates of safety he was shouting “Can I have some money in my blue bowl”.
 Everyone came out to see what was going on, kindness, innocents, patience, caring, sharing, truth and wisdom were there.
 
 Innocents went over to the blind boy and said;
“We don’t want to hurt you or harm you in anyway, but your bowl it’s not blue its white…and can we ask you a question?


But before they ask their question,


 Who is lying in that story?



Remember Me,‭ ‬the damage that’s done.

One of the most sordid sights,‭ ‬is of some-one being a healer,‭ ‬trying to heal the illness of another who has‭ ‬the same illness that he or she has already‭ ‬got.‭  
 
I hope lessons will be learnt by these statements‭!

 Everyone has a right to cure another person of their illness,‭ ‬providing that they can recognize the illness they have themselves,‭ ‬i.e.‭ ‬that they know what‭ ‬the difference is between addiction and greed.

To the judges:
You have the right to judge,‭ ‬but not condemn,‭ ‬e.g.‭ ‬do you judge the difference between one dollar and five dollars‭?
(I know you do‭)‬.‭ ‬But you condemn me for having the same knowledge as you,‭ ‬but‭ ‬if I have wisdom am I your peer‭?
 If that is the case,‭ ‬then power and abuse equals pride and pride deafens the ears,‭ ‬then turns to wickedness and wickedness kills the soul.

I am not writing this to make you feel guilty,‭ ‬you have that already.‭

The greatest Teacher,‭ ‬of all,‭ ‬told us that‭ ‬‘it’s not what goes in your mouth that kills you,‭ ‬but what comes out‭’‬,‭ ‬i.e.‭ ‬lies.

For you the police authority I ask‭ ‬‘what’s the difference between laws and rules‭’‬.

Your answer was,‭ ‬‘everyone makes rules,‭ ‬whether at home,‭ ‬or in places of work.‭
Out of the people that make the rules,‭ ‬i.e.‭ ‬fathers,‭ ‬managing directors,‭ ‬mums,‭ ‬dads,‭ ‬women,‭ ‬humans,‭ ‬she-men,‭ ‬men-she’s,‭ ‬girls,‭ ‬boys,‭ ‬mothers‭; ‬there are two that must be followed.
But those who make the‭ ‬laws,‭ ‬are they the people who are elected by the masses‭?‬ (Yes‭)

Well that does not stand up,‭ ‬because years ago people who were convicted of stealing sheep to feed their families were hanged.‭ ‬But now the law today say’s you will either be imprisoned or fined or both.
So what does this tell you about the people who made the laws‭?

Greed has its own establishments,‭ ‬e.g.‭ ‬salaries,‭ ‬jobs that pay well,‭ ‬and the power and abuse that go with them.

I sat and watched as most people tumble into this mire,‭ ‬and it hurt me too think that they are bowing down to these things,‭ ‬that become gods to them.

‭ ‬Because you said that I don’t know,‭ ‬and that I am jealous,‭ ‬or that I have an illness called madness,‭ ‬or I am schizophrenic and proceed to psychoanalyze me.‭ ‬ I‭ ‬now‭ ‬do the same to you,‭ ‬by my questions.

For the elected body,‭ ‬you have made life hell for people on the streets and me the lowest of the low,‭ ‬and yet you think you cannot be touched,‭ ‬as you touch others by your deeds.
This shows me that you have the same illness that you say I have‭!
But you don’t recognize yours.
I do not blame you‭;‬ I blame my generation and the generations before me.

To you that manage the volunteers.‭ ‬Why do you hate‭ ‬the changes that are brought to you by these volunteers‭?
 Is it because you are leading the people who taught you with their lives and ideas,‭ ‬but you haven’t any yourselves‭?
Don’t think you are clever because you have letters after your name,‭ ‬or have been put in a position of‭ ‬power‭; ‬because power and the abuse of it,‭ ‬makes pride,‭ ‬and pride kills the hearing.

Hidden agenda’s causing suicides:
‭ ‬When people come to you for help,‭ ‬what do you really tell them‭?
 Do you fill them with dreams‭? ‬e.g.‭ ‬get a job,‭ ‬any kind of job,‭ ‬so long as it’s occupying your time,‭ ‬and then you won’t have to think about your illness.
Or do you say‭ ‬‘if you have a job,‭ ‬you can climb the ladder of success,‭ ‬and when you have climbed it,‭ ‬you can get everything you want‭’‬.
‭ ‬How‭ ‬much greed do you want to put‭ ‬in people‭?

I hear you say‭ (‬am I a mind reader‭) ‬if you live comfortable it’s good for you,‭ ‬but as soon as they get their goal,‭ ‬greed takes it’s toll.

‭ ‬The law says your body is going to die,‭ ‬but in the meantime try to help others.‭

Please don’t give us money,‭ ‬but feed us with a cup of tea and a sandwich,‭ ‬For if you give me money I will abuse your kindness and buy ale or drugs or things that are harmful to me,‭ ‬for my illness is greed.

Greed comes in many things and forms.
What is life‭?‬ During your life you’re supposed to find the things that are hidden,‭ ‬that you cannot see.
That’s the way you will get peace of mind.
‭ ‬If you upset children’s minds then they will be upset all their lives until they see what is hidden.
‭ ‬You have a duty to mankind to remedy this.‭ ‬For if you don’t you are worse than me the lowest of the low.

To you the psychiatrist,‭ ‬playing with children’s minds and putting more disorders into them,‭ ‬don’t you think they have enough disorders already‭?
 I will ask you what love is‭?‬,‭ ‬not‭ ‬the attributes of love,‭ ‬e.g.‭ ‬kindnesses,‭ ‬sharing,‭ ‬helping and so on,‭ ‬but love its self.‭ ‬Ask them on the‭ ‬streets what love is,‭ ‬many will tell you what was done to them,‭ ‬a few will tell you what it is.

I will also ask,‭ ‬what is the difference between robbing a toy or a thousand pounds‭?
 You know and I know,‭ ‬there is no difference,‭ ‬it’s all robbing.
‭ ‬But you and your generation have stolen many minds.‭ ‬I still do not‭ ‬blame you.‭ ‬No‭! ‬I blame your so called teachers and preachers they are guilty of stealing.

So what is the difference between robbing and stealing‭?
Robbers rob bodies,‭ ‬thieves steal souls.
But because you have read this and still follow the status-quo,‭ ‬you are guilty of stealing.

Back to hidden agendas:‭
You people in very good jobs that are supposed too look after the schizophrenic’s like me,‭ ‬how many have you driven to suicide‭?
 Years ago I remember a hospital that only had‭ ‬three deaths a week.
‭ ‬But then,‭ ‬somebody said‭ ‘‬they knew what to do,‭ ‬and were‭ ‬proud to do it.
‭ ‬After one month the total number of suicides went up to seven a week.
I wonder why‭?
I say,‭ ‘‬that person forgot the first law‭’‬:
‭ ‬Love your brother and sister.‭
They kill their rubbish,‭ ‬I burn mine.‭ ‬Meaning they kill societies rubbish.‭

I don’t give my rubbish any-more fuel to help it burn,‭ ‬e.g.‭ ‬hate,‭ ‬jealousy,‭ ‬stabbing people in the back,‭ ‬sneering,‭ ‬scandal mongering and many more,‭ ‬that way the fire,‭ ‬goes out.‭
But you‭ ‬ferment your own rubbish and load other people up with your burdens.
What cowards you are‭!

This story was preached by a tramp for those that are lower than the low.
I don’t expect you to print this.‭ ‬But if you do,‭ ‬Kindness will show its gratitude.
For the ladder you climb no-matter how high will not bend in the middle.
For a safe journey seek what is hidden never walk in the middle of the road,‭ ‬for life has a nasty habit of knocking you down.

‭ ‬Yours Sincerely‭
The Tram‭p.



Once upon a time, a puppy was born into a litter of six, unfortunately the mother died and the pups got adopted out.

One pup went to a home with good intentions; they took the pup home and were happy with him for a while.

Later, they wanted to go out, not always with the pup, which was fine, BUT no one had taken responsibility for who was going to feed him , walk him everyday for the rest of his life; take him to the vets, play with him and exercise him and teach him how to behave.

They all blamed each other, expecting someone else to look after the puppy or the puppy to look after himself!

‘ So were they saying that they were not responsible for their own actions?’

If so, that is diminished responsibility, and under the Mental Health act, could be translated as being dangerous to your self and or others.

The puppy eventually grew into a dog and became an antisocial behaviourist.  He was once a kind and affectionate puppy, he was friendly to everyone who met him but some of them mistook kindness for weakness and bullied it and bit his ears till they bled.

Years later when approached by a friendly dog he just attacked him without thinking. This was out of the fear of being attacked and killed first; Bully’s make Bully’s/Self harmers. (what had happened to the happy friendly puppy?).

Because the puppy was now technically homeless, he had found a new home where he could show off his bullying barking and snappy behaviour that he’d leaned from the other dogs.

This was encouraged by the new house owners because they needed all types of dogs, hounds, snakes and a variety of others to frequent their home from time to time. This was always to the detriment of the kind and vulnerable.

Without which the bills could not be paid.

Who will take responsibility for the puppy now, Who brought him in?
Or will you follow the rule; ignore the bad behaviour and reward the good
Will you stand by and watch?

If this is allowed to continue, by you, and those who put you in charge; all of whom owe ‘a duty of care’ to those you invite in to your house.

Legally you’re on the side of harassment and intimidation, which is condoned by your support of that behaviour. (Silent psychological bullying)

< of psychology>
Deviations
It was said by Socrates
‘Do not attempt to cure the eyes, without first curing the head' or the head without the body.
To deviate, you should not treat the body without treating the mind. The psyche (Greek): mind or soul. Is the mind or soul split into two parts? If it is, what is each part called?
Influences:
(Psycho-exploration)
What is the most important thing that sticks out of people's minds?
Things that you remember from childhood, was it: Finny-haddock, the smells and the awful or delicious tastes? Was it brussel sprouts? Medicines and other things that you hated when you were a child. Why did you hate them? Did it make you drowsy, or was it the effects after you woke up?
Lets look at this.
When I was fed milk as a baby, I didn't know what type of milk it was it was left to my parents, no doubt they were shown from their parents and so on; generation to generation.

If a baby can't go to sleep, or you want the baby to go to sleep, when you have tried everything, changing nappies, feeding, another bottle, the lot, then the baby starts teething, what do you do?

Do you give the baby some type of medicine?
This is the baby’s first taste, so would the baby recognize what you have given it?
Does the MEMORY of the taste still languish in the mind?
Does it stay there even after teething is over and is not needed anymore?

When I was old enough to distinguish between different types of food, I was given finny-haddock, (cough-mixture) the smell was shocking, even the look of it at it made me sick. I was cajoled into taking a spoon full but it tasted awful. I was left there sitting at the table until I had eaten it. At that time, being only six and not allowed to leave the table, I started to cry. I never did taste it, I just swallowed it, until I was eight.
At the age of eight the same finny-haddock was cooked in milk, but I could still smell that awful smell. This time I had become finicky with the food, and I refused to eat it and this time I did not cry. I sat at the table, for a while, it seemed like hours. I asked many times to leave the table, and the answer was always no! (Bullying). 'If you don't eat it your going to bed,’ so I went to bed. (Blackmail) or (emotional manipulation)
At fifteen, while visiting a friend, it was time for him to have his dinner; you can guess what was on the menu, yes your right! Finny-haddock. They had put spices in it to hide the smell, but I could still smell it. I was blackmailed into eating with them. I took a small spoonful, but I could still taste it. I told them I had just eaten not long before I got there. 'It will make you a macho man, you will be like my son's dad, strong, and a good worker.’ My friend’s mother persuaded, I swallowed another spoonful, and I politely told them I could not eat any more.
The taste languished in my mouth for hours. I was very embarrassed by it all. I told another friend about it, I could see the redness in his face. 'I had been eating that since I was fourteen, I was like you, but I got used to it’, he said. He told me about the first time that he had it. I said ‘Is it normal?’ ‘Of course it is, every body eats it’. I laughed and went home.
One day when I was eighteen, I went to a girlfriend’s house. What did she cook, you can guess, she had cooked it in loads of spices it tasted good but I only ate half the meal. Afterwards we chatted, and then I said my good-byes. I did not see her anymore. When I was twenty-five, I did not nibble at the meal any more, I could eat it cooked without spices or milk or oils, I loved it.
Now I am the Macho-man, just like my friend's dad. Why did it give you so much trouble to eat it in the beginning, way back then? Was it the taste, the smell, the feel, or the fear of being sick or was it the bullying because it consisted of many forms. Most young people are very vulnerable, even the older generations, why is this?
Let us look at the orders of sexuality.
Hetero-sexual, Homo-sexual, Bi-sexual and A-sexual.
Psychoneurosis.
Psychoexploration: influences.
Mind disorders. (Psychopathia sexualis)
Sadism & masochism.
Psychogogic:
Phobia's.
How do these things get into the mind?
Influences
Psychoreaction.
Psychanopsia.
Some will say we have a blank mind when we are born, so who puts these influences there?
Some will say they are there before we are born, so how do they get there?
Someone has to do something to influence the mind of an innocent child, one way or another, which in turn will effect that child’s behavior and determine his or her sexual preference. (LUST)
Jung says we have mind pictures of all things! (Psycho-optic)
So now we can manipulate these images and recognize them for what they really are. After a time, they will disappear from immediate view so that they can no longer effect us detrimentally and can be used as experience to our benefit.
Freud says we are influenced by dreams of the past! Now, look at what comes before dreams? At first we are in this reality, of the material world, then we can have dreams, good dreams and bad dreams. There is then a period of sleep just before the, nightmares, of which we can also have both good and bad. Into a comatose state is the next stage. Now you can enter a new reality.
Psychodynamics
The physical reality. When I kick a wall, it hurts the foot, but others will say they never felt it. I know the body did 'Feel it'. As we grow up, we take on everything in this universe. No matter whether good or bad the influence of others will affect us some how.
Everything that happens to the Id (Freud / body) takes the form of an image and is put into the ego, (mind or soul) e.g. 'I have a mind to do this or that,' but do I do it? What gives the stimulus to the action? Could it be an urge or lust, which are attributes of greed? Where is this greed stored? Could it be in the ego? Where are the attributes of love stored? What about the super-ego?
Alternatively, spirit. How do they inter-relate to one another, and what binds them together? I could answer this, but then I would be influencing you.
Dreams
I am looking at images with the mind’s eye, like looking at a cinema film screen, watching, but not taking part. Some will say they see part of the dream before they wake up. Where does the light come from that is in our dreams, to enable us to see them?
Psychanopsia
Sleep
Is the brain resting or is it a blank! Where and how does it carry on working? Do we see images before we go to sleep? Therefore, in between reality and dream-images, our ego shuts down and our id takes over to the forefront. Taking a nap, nodding off and into the nightmare. (Remember it may be a good nightmare, you are in it.) Suddenly! Something wakes us up we jump with fright because we are falling. How could we control this? What do you think was falling? When you know your body and brain have not been anywhere, they are still safely tucked up in bed.
Psychasthenia
Nightmares
They are real for those who are in them. We know we are running because we are afraid of something, yet we know we are in bed. We still have all the emotions of one who is about to be hurt. What creates this fear? Is it the images of things we have done? Is Jung right that we see everything in images whether good or bad? Was Freud right that we see things in attributes?
Traumatic-psychosis
Coma
The brain is dead. The mind sleeps, but the sub-consciousness controls the body. What controls the sub-consciousness?
Psychosensorial.
Psychorrhexis.
Reality.
Things that go beyond the nightmare, through the tribulation and on to the peace.
Psychogenesis.
Let us go back to being born, do we, before we are born go in reverse order to the above?
If I approach Jung psychology, then it would be true. Freud dealt with dreams, which came out of past thoughts, the influences of other people and the attributes of Wickedness and of Love.
Freud’s version consisted of a sub-conscious, that the dreams came from, only when a great trauma or fear arose, which opened up the hidden memory banks. Influences. If we did not have these fears, would we be ignorant or innocent?
Psychorrhagia
So how was memory made in the first place and where is it stored? Now we have to look at the conscious and sub-conscious, but what are they? Is conscious being fully awake and alert to control the body functions and the sub-conscious controls the body when we are a sleep? Body functions, dreams and so on!
What would happen if both the sub-conscious and the conscious were both active together what would you call it? Some will say it is a living soul. Others say it can't happen. Some say they see things before they happen, is it called psyche or psychic? How does this function work?
Psychalia: Is it a true function?
Psychoplasm: Do we see images, figures or words?
What about the memory man? How does he remember the telephone directory? Images, figures or letters, or all three? A good memory, but can he do it in his dreams? Does he relate to 88 as two fat ladies when he recalls from memory or just 88?
Do we just repeat it until it is stored in our memory? Like the time’s tables. Do we do this when we are fully conscious and alert or when we are dreaming? Why do we learn this? Out of fear, ridicule, and punishments? Are these called abuses? You know perfectly well that they are.
Do we learn them with kindness so that we can tell the difference between things? I am not saying this knowledge is bad, but when you say 2+2 is 3 when I am buying something and when 2+2=6 when I am selling something! "Good business" the businessmen call it.
Trading is great isn't it? However, what keeps this going on? Greed! Do you help people with kindness or punishment? You’re so right! Fair trading marvelous. So-long as we can con the other one, into thinking that he is getting a bargain. The big picture is to make different nations poor and to make the masses of their own nations poorer.
The great con is to teach others to do things that are obvious and not tell them about different things that really matter, only those things that we can make a profit out of.
Most of us have psychanopsia. Is this the reason for this, we are never told? About The differences between things? What is the difference between one man and an other? The attributes.
Playing with words
What is the difference between your left foot and your right foot? Now count your feet, one foot, two feet!
Measurement
When a child asks the difference, walk the extra mile in his mind, But if you do not know! Say ‘I don’t know’. Tell him the truth, that way his mind will not be harmed or unbalanced.
So now let us go back too sexuality.
Heterosexuality
We must produce children in our likeness any other sexuality is taboo. You are right, (That is if you are heterosexual) but that is only if you are going to tell them the truth.
The parents cannot tell the truth, because they do not know it themselves. So the parents pass on what they have learnt whether good or bad.
Why does every human being have  Nipples. Is it because the fetus does not know what sex it is? What stage does it take on it’s sexuality? What sex is the Conscious or Sub-Conscious? Id, ego & super-ego? The conscious has all the hallmarks of wickedness. Macho pride, greed and so on!
While the sub-conscious only remembers the attributes of wickedness, some of which are lust, greed, sloth, pride, envy, anger and so on.
Is the sub-conscious split, in two parts, the attributes of wickedness and the attributes of love? When I sleep, I do not kill anybody! But do I have greed? Do I kill when sleepwalking? Do I kill when I am dreaming or having a nightmare?
Do I have the intention to murder, from my conscious state passed on to my sub-conscious state and then repeat it like the time’s tables? The intention is stored in the sub-conscious to use later. So who put this intention into the mind and who told me to kill?
Nature, or the influences of nature.
Psychoendocrinology
Everything kills for food, no matter what type of food. Whether it is for eating, killing, or the senses of life. The one’s who need life's greed, end up abusing others. How can you abuse somebody? Just lie to them. If someone thinks you know what is right, they will follow your ideas, but will they be the right ones?
Then you or others of their kind will have power over them, through ignorance. (But not innocents.) Power and abuse makes pride and pride deafens the ears. But lies kill. Who teaches the child to hit? Is that bullying? " It didn't do me any harm because I now stand up and fight like a man, I don't talk now, I just bully and get my own way whether right or wrong." Nice one dad! What is normal behavior! Is normal behavior wearing clothes or not? What if everyone didn't wear clothes, would it be normal?
Everyone obeys rules that have uses for the masses. It is passed down from one generation to the other. Clothes have their uses, keeping warm, Dressing up to go out and so on.
When some one is naked and walking in the middle of a busy city, not worrying about what people say or do. Is that normal? On the other hand, is normal dressing in brown trainers, no socks, black dinner trousers, a tweed jacket, no shirt, and a bowler hat? If he were comfortable wearing this outfit, would it matter? He has no dress sense. Who didn’t teach him dress sense? He likes dressing as he does! Its head turning psychophysics.
Homosexuality
How does one species have sexual urges for another of the same gender?
Why does this person want to do this?
What is this persons reasoning?
Is this lust! Is it an attribute of greed?
You can have lust for anyone..or thing.
How does this person become  homosexual?
Influences.
Does a baby have these urges? You know it does not. It only becomes active when it knows, and is aware of its surroundings. As the baby learns to distinguish things apart, he or she is told about things, shown how things are done and is usually told a varied mixture of lies.
Parents, careers, and anyone that comes into contact with the baby will inevitably impress their mark upon that innocent mind, influencing how the baby will develop. Lying to the baby will make sure its mind is disturbed and it can not reason.

 Nature will be seen at its worst, to be recorded and used later on in life.
So when does a child know its sexuality? When it is told whether it is a boy or girl or shown!
Let us go back too influences. What is an influence? Is it peer pressure? Actions of other people? Bullying from all quarters? Are we born with them? Do we see animals performing sexual behavior by instinct? Because it is hungry? Or is it shown?
From one generation to another, we pass our ways down without knowing why we do this. The older generation think its right, they think there is no harm in it. Well I will now ask what is love?
Be careful of your answer for I will know your sexuality.
Most people accept lust for love or an act of love, So if I told you love is an unconditional present, Would you believe me? Well you are going to believe because you are going to check it! Out of the attributes of love would you give your off spring a poison sandwich? No! So why do we do it, with lies? Is it because we need companionship or someone with us, anyone? Is it the power over someone or lust? Is lust abuse? Will you say people lust after each other? If so they do not know what love is then! Influences, Brussels sprouts and medicines.
WARNING! APPROACH THIS STORY WITH CARE. 
When I was young chimpanzee, just young enough to be carried, my parents carried me in turn, What peace I had, no worries or cares I was protected but from what?
Was it life’s surroundings, or did they know what life was about? Were they learning about life also? Were they ignorant of many facts? What influences did their parents put on them? What will be will be! When I went to be with others of the same pride, I was told and shown the difference between boys and girls. (I hope I don't have to spell it out).
Submissiveness
Sometimes I acted stupid and did stupid things but I am not daft. Playtime was tick and run away and not to be caught by the ticker, but if you were ticked then you were called names. I was embarrassed by the name-calling and yet I still played it. The game was, you have to kiss whom you ticked, some times girls some times boys. Some were innocent others were not. At home I had to kiss my aunts and uncles, and my uncles had stubble’s on them and they used to scrape me.
The older nephews did not have stubble, some would hug me and others would tickle me and I would laugh. But did I enjoy it? Yes, because of my innocents.
When I was eight years of age, I was out with my mother and we went to get fruit. ‘I want to go to the toilet’; my mother took me to the bushes. I heard a man chimp shout, ‘hey you, Brussels spout’ I turned round, I do not know why I turned round, maybe out of fear, but I weed on my feet! I saw the man chimp, he was from another pride, and he was smiling at me. I just smiled back. The man chimp came over and wiped my feet with his leaf. ‘Its ok now, what is your name’ He said with a sympathetic smile. I mumbled my name out of embarrassment he patted me and told me to go.
I always did what I was told by my parents because all adults were to be obeyed; otherwise, I would be punished. One day there was a family gathering, my tree bed was taken by an older nephew he was clever, ‘He was very clever’ my father used to say, ‘You should be like him.’ He said. I was put in the tree bed first, then my older cousin came up and got in, shoving me up to the tree trunk, I banged my head, it hurt badly, he rubbed my head and soothed me, I laid back and was seeing images in my mind, I was startled. I turned on my side to face the tree trunk and went to sleep.
I woke up some thing was stinging my side, there was also a wetness! I just fell back to sleep. My leaf covers were down to my knee the next morning. ‘Come on’ he said ‘get up’ then he grabbed me and tickled me. I started to laugh, ‘where’s your Brussels sprouts’ he said, he grabbed me and turned me on my chest. As I lay on the tree bed, he then put something into my side then I felt wetness. It felt ok, I was happy and calm. ‘Don't tell anyone what happened so that you and I can play all day’. ‘You can come to my house and stay’. ‘Wash yourself in the water. He said firmly.
I got up and went to the water, and sat on the stone, then I washed. While I was washing, he picked me up and put me in the water. I didn't feel the cold water. He started to laugh, so I joined in, Mother shouted, and ‘What are you two up to’. He put me in the water and a deep voice said ‘Don't be too hard on him’ and laughed. He played with me all day; at last, I had some one to talk to. He got some fruit and bamboo juice, and shared them with me. It was a great day.
When I got back home mother had a meal ready for us, It was like a Sunday dinner, on the eating leafs were all types of fruit, except for mangos, there were many Brussels sprouts around the fruit. I ate nearly everything, apart from the Brussels sprouts. I don't know why I left them. I just did. I stayed the weekend at his home, because father wanted me to. As I was leaving, father gave me a hug it was the first time in years tears just weld up in my eyes. It was the first time I had left my mother’s tree.
We got to his tree and we went up high into the branches to show me where he slept. His bed was small but two small chimps could sleep in it. That night I went fast to sleep with his feet next to my back. The meals were great, we went to the play clearing, which was quite far away and played foot tick. He went to the outside of the clearing and as he got there he shouted and beckoned for me to come, so I went.
A man chimp was nearby; they went together, further into the undergrowth. When they came out, the man chimp gave him some mangos. He smiled at me as he walked out. ‘He hurt my side’, my cousin said, ‘But I got mango's for it’, ‘ For what’! I asked, ‘I'll show you tonight, my mother and father will be drunken on honey, so I will show you then’. He said quickly. We went to his tree house.
We had our tea and I was given some dirty honey. I felt a bit sick and my head was spinning round. I sat in front of the tree trunk and never moved. I only had two mouthfuls, but I couldn't move. His mother and father went to the club tree, just out of sight, but in yelling distance. About an hour later he picked me up and put me to bed. He turned me on to my chest opened my legs wide and stuck a thorn into my side, then he put his finger on the spot where the thorn had been, I couldn't move but I heard him say ‘Brussels sprout I'm going to kiss you’ and he did but not on the mouth. I mumbled ‘Do you like doing this,’ he smiled. ‘You’re going to make a lot of mangos and we will share them.’ His parents must have gone straight to their tree bed. I went to sleep.
He woke me up roughly putting me on my chest he opened my legs wide and tried to put a bigger thorn into my side. It didn't go in so he went and put this sticky honey on my side, he got on top of me, and held me down, I could smell dirty honey, then he gently put the thorn into my side. I knew it hurt, it was like a bee sting, but I couldn't move. He put his hand under my stomach and lifted it. Putting more of the thorn into my side. I was starting to shout, ‘Don't’ He said, ‘Otherwise you'll get into trouble’. So I bit the twig. When he had finished he said ‘That will be good for you’. He turned me over on my back and I could see his vein, it was big, and he covered my eyes with some leaves.
I tried to sleep, but he wouldn't let me. Then he turned me on my back and put honey into my mouth and I felt calm again. He gave me some bamboo water. I went to sleep, and woke up with him rubbing me gently. I was now his Brussels sprout, as he told me later. We went to the park clearing, he gave me some thing to drink, after a while my stomach was up set, I told him, ‘Quick go to the toilet tree’. He shouted, I did and all the dirt flowed out of me, there was no water to wash with, but he gave me some. I wanted to play foot tick, while he started talking to the same man chimp we saw yesterday.
They went into the under growth again, I could hear him saying, ‘Its too big’. The man said, ‘suck it’. ‘I can't’, Replied my cousin. ‘I give you some extra fruit’; I could hear the man chimp moaning. He was given five bananas and a mango. We started playing foot tick and then his mother came to see us. She asked why I was quiet, So I said that I had been kicked in the bottom and was bruised. I rubbed it and the pain was decreasing from last night. ‘Do you want to stay the week?’ His mother asked. ‘I have to go back to tree school’, I said worriedly ‘I told your father that you wanted to stay’. She said frowning. ‘Did he say I could?’ I said. ‘Yes’ was the reply but her son was smiling, I just looked sad, and my father did not want me! Well, I carried on playing foot tick; his mother said something about finding more fruit. ‘I’ll take him to the waters’. Was the answer.
Therefore, that night, early in the evening we went to the waters. It was the first time I had been to the waters. Someone sat next to me, so I changed to another rock seat with my cousin he sat next to the man chimp. My cousin grabbed me and showed my bruised part to the man chimp. The man chimp put his hand on my bruised part. I was going to move. My cousin said, ‘Don't move or I'll hit you’. I was a coward, so I didn't move. The man gave him two mangos and left. My cousin grabbed the mangos and started to laugh. I started getting very frightened, ‘If you do what I say, I will not hit you, and I will always like you. But you tell anyone, I will say you sat next to a stranger and he gave you mangos.’ ‘Are you going to tell?’ ‘Yes! I mean no.’ ‘Are you sure,’ ‘yes’ I whispered. ‘You will do what I say’, I nodded. That's good sit next to me. So I did. Then he told me to collect all the fruit after drinking from the waters. When we had finished we went to my cousins tree house I was carrying all the fruit. His mother asked me if I had enjoyed the waters. He whispered mangos in my ear, as I answered his mother. ‘Would you like some dirty honey’ ‘No’ I said, but my cousin gave me it anyway. ‘Me and your father’, she said to my cousin, ‘are going to his mothers, She wants to talk to us, about you, and new places’. ‘I have to tell you, your grandmother died, that's why we all went to your tree house. So you will be staying here for awhile’. I started crying, because I wanted to go home. Someone came with a message, ‘We'll come straight away’. She said So they got ready and left.
‘Drink your honey’. My cousin said. I drank it, I was drowsy but awake but I couldn't move. He picked me up and put me on the tree bed, I knew what was coming but I couldn't stop him. He put the big thorn into me, and then I screamed he laughed saying ‘I'll hit you if you don't shut up’. After he had finished, he laid on the tree bed, ‘Get hold of this’, he took my hand and I held the thorn. It was stiff. He grabbed my head and put the big thorn next to it. ‘Suck this mango!’ He snarled. I could not. ‘Well, I will have to put the thorn into you again’, He then put me on my chest, opened my legs and did it again. I must have moved for he held me down. It was quicker than before and I felt sleepy. He said he enjoyed it and smiled. ‘Tomorrow you’re going to get me a lot of fruit.’ He smiled. ‘Please don't make me do anything’, I begged. He said it will not hurt next time, and slapped my bottom. ‘You are going to do anything I want, otherwise I will beat you’. ‘Hold my arm and rub it up and down’, He said. The veins were showing, it went hard, he then put the thorn in and left it there, He went to sleep. I waited, then I moved away.
In the morning, I felt relaxed. ‘Turn over!’ He said. ‘Please don't, you can do it to night’. I pleaded. ‘Will you suck it, the mango,’ ‘Yes tonight, not now. I nodded. ‘We'll go to the waters and wash.’ He said. We went to the Tree Park but the man chimp did not turn up. I was happy playing foot tick, but he wanted to play a different game. He started tickling me and I felt happy. We played for hours I gathered the fruit then we headed back to his tree home. ‘You’re quiet!’ He quizzed. ‘Yes’ I said. ‘If you tell anyone, I'll tell them you went with some man chimp and came back with lots of fruit and told me you had found them.’ He threatened. ‘Please, I won't say anything,’ I said. ‘I hope so, or I'll beat you.’ He spat. There was a man chimp on the edge of the clearing. He seemed to be waiting for some one. I had not seen him before, but my cousin knew him, they walked in front of me talking. The man chimp gave him four mangos. Then he went off. ‘You like that tree park, don't you?’ I asked, ‘yes’, he laughed.
We walked around the Tree Park and he said he was lost, then the man chimp he had seen earlier, saw us. He told him we were lost, so he said ‘I will show you the way. We'll go this way’. We stopped at a big tree house it was full of fruit and my cousin grabbed me and dragged me up to the tree bed. The man looked at me, and said. ‘He's a beautiful young chimp.’ My cousin said.’ Yes he is nice.’ ‘But you said…!’ I was cut off by him whispering ‘mango's.’And making a clicking sound with his tongue. The man chimp grabbed my cousin and me and started to pour dirty honey down my mouth. Then he put me face down and then the man chimp spread my legs. He got on top of me, and put the big thorn on my side, it started to go in me, it was hurting, I screamed and started crying, ‘Don't!’ I sobbed The man chimp stopped and said it was too big to put in. ‘Are you going to pay me the same amount of fruit’ my cousin asked. No came the reply. ‘Well you can do it to me then.’ I could hear my cousin scream. I rubbed my bottom and went down the tree, as the man chimp got of my cousin and slapped his bottom. My cousin was ill. He gave my cousin two mangos and me two, also. My cousin grabbed my mangos as we went home.
At his tree house, he got angry, I do not know why I asked him if I could go to bed, and he nodded, so I went. He never touched me with a thorn after that, I was happy. He took me everywhere with him, but kept his distance, I always collected the fruit now. Weeks later, my mother came for me, I was laughing with joy. My cousin took me to the park while my mother chatted to his mother. At the Tree Park, he warned me not to say anything to anyone, I told him I would not. He smiled at me. On the way home the man chimp came. ‘When he is older, bring him round.’ The man chimp taunted. In the tree house, my mother gave me a banana. I thanked her then we went home. Father said, ‘Did you enjoy yourself’. I nodded and started to gather the fruit from the neighborhood for him. Every time my cousin came to my tree house I ran away.
After awhile he stopped coming round, I was fifteen when he came back to the house. He said ‘hello’. I just nodded; I was afraid of him. ‘Brussels’ sprout’. He said. I blushed. My mother laughed and my father smiled. ‘Lets go out.’ He continued. ‘I don't want to go’. Said I. He whispered. ‘I will tell what happened’. I said ‘O.k. I'll go then.’ ‘Can he stop at my house?’ Said my cousin. My Father said yes. So we went to the Tree Park. ‘Later we are going to get some fruit. He said. We never went to his tree house, but to a tree house which seemed familiar. We saw two men chimps, nearby, they grabbed me and took me up to the tree bed and held me face down. I could see my cousin smiling. Then one of them got on top of me and forced a big thorn into me, right into my leg. I screamed the other man got hold of my leg and started to rub it. The pain was wearing off. I had a sensation. Then the first man got off me and the other man did the same in my other leg. After he had finished, they laid me on my back and both of them sucked my mango's that I had gathered, in turn, until they had a sensation.
They got hold of my cousin and did the same to him, but I could see him enjoying it. Another man came into the room, he was bigger than the men chimps, then he got on top of my cousin and he screamed and screamed. He was crying with pain. I felt sorry for him. I was afraid for myself. The man got off him, and told him to suck a mango, he did. The other two men gave me some honey. I felt drowsy and slept awhile. I was then woken up, they held me, and I started begging them to stop. They held me, the big man chimp put his thorn into me. I screamed it was hurting me, My side was very sore, I was still screaming, ‘look at this’, He said getting my attention. He turned my head, I looked, I could see the mans big thorn. ‘Don't’. I pleaded, crying. He knew it would not fit, but he still put the big thorn into me. I did not move, it was hurting ‘Do Not worry you are going to have a sensation’. Someone said. I pulled away and they beat me, right in front of my cousin. I was badly beaten. I thought they were going to kill me, then the beating stopped.
The big chimp put it back into me. I felt the pain of the thorn and went to sleep. I was given one mango and told to go. My cousin thanked them and they nodded. After we got out of the tree house, one of them said. ‘Come again’, to my cousin, but I said ‘I wouldn't’. ‘You will do what I say!’. Said my cousin. The way I looked, must have frightened him. He didn't say anything else. We went to his tree home and went to bed. ‘Never again’, I told him. ‘You will think differently tomorrow.’ He said. The next morning we got up. and went to the tree park. I recognized the man, so I just sat down and said nothing. My cousin talked with the man, he came over to me, saying, ‘We are going back to-morrow.’ ‘Please don't’ I said, ‘You are going too.’ They laughed. I know now, that I was going to be their Brussels sprout. (Slave) I hated being Brussels sprout. (Slave) Now I am older, I have got used to being Brussels sprout. I will not taste the mangos again. I promised myself. I was given all the fruit trees and so I gave all the fruit to my mother and father they thanked me. My parents seemed to know what had happened to me. At sixteen, I left home, because I still eat mangos. Now me and my cousin are fruit-gatherers, (Brussels sprouts) we do the entire fruit gathering for everyone in the villages and I stay with my cousin now. After we gather the fruit, we get some thorns and put them in ourselves.
The out come of this story is SUICIDE, involving sexual abuse, in the form of BULLYING. This is a story but many people have real experiences.
There is a cure, Only trust those, who know the difference between the image and the likeness.
  An asexual, is a person who has had no sexual contact with an other being. Or a person who knows the difference between love and lust, and has full control over their own sexuality.
 How does he get rid of his stiffness in his sleep?
 Wet dreams are the most common facts of the young providing another person has not touched them. Some thing awakens him and the wet dream occurs. Those who have had a wet dream will know. How do we get these sensations? Some people dream of a toilet and then they wet the bed, or have a nightmare and dirty the bed. The stories are brief, but the truth is always the same, all things have been done before. That does not mean we can not stop them from happening, for to recognize them, they will soon disappear from your memory.
Summary:
What's the difference between murder and killing the mind?
 Some people like myself, when they were young gave other youngsters lies, or something near to it, but now I know what I did, I can put it right, can you!
 Remember most people murder others! Some people influence others to commit suicide! Some influence others to slow deaths! Most of all, some are influenced into drugs, bigotry, class wars, color prejudice, religion, fat, thin, tall, small, impaired, all discriminations, the list goes on and on.
 The tramp, who is shunned by nearly everybody because he tells the truth. The Truth is a bitter pill to swallow, but when swallowed and savored the taste is great, you will never forget it. You who are ignorant of your own worlds, make other people ignorant of their own worlds, because your pride has no boundaries, you will never know what peace is like, because you and people like you are a nest of vipers. You are the same old story! Only with a different smell, (influences)

[Back to stories]











Constant criticism, nit-picking, no empathy, control freak, denial, charm, glib, compulsive liar, devious, manipulative? Read this


How to spot signs and symptoms of serial bullies, socio-paths and psycho-paths
including the sociopathic behaviour of the industrial psychopath and the corporate psychopath


Types of serial bully: The Attention-Seeker, The Wannabe, The Guru and The Sociopath


"All cruelty springs from weakness."
(Seneca, 4BC-AD65)


"Most organisations have a serial bully. It never ceases to amaze me how one person's divisive, disordered, dysfunctional behaviour can permeate the entire organisation like a cancer."
Tim Field


"The truth is incontrovertible; malice may attack it, ignorance my deride it, but in the end, there it is."
Winston Churchill


"Lack of knowledge of, or unwillingness to recognise, or outright denial of the existence of the serial bully is the most common reason for an unsatisfactory outcome of a bullying case for both the employee and employer"
Tim Field


I estimate one person in thirty, male or female, is a serial bully. Who does the following profile describe in your life?




    is a convincing, practised liar and when called to account, will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment


    has a Jekyll and Hyde nature - is vile, vicious and vindictive in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses; no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive nature - only the current target of the serial bully's aggression sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as "charming" and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as "evil"; Hyde is the real person, Jekyll is an act


    excels at deception and should never be underestimated in their capacity to deceive


    uses excessive charm and is always plausible and convincing when peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)


    is glib, shallow and superficial with plenty of fine words and lots of form - but there's no substance


    is possessed of an exceptional verbal facility and will outmanoeuvre most people in verbal interaction, especially at times of conflict


    is often described as smooth, slippery, slimy, ingratiating, fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic


    relies on mimicry, repetition and regurgitation to convince others that he or she is both a "normal" human being and a tough dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon


    is unusually skilled in being able to anticipate what people want to hear and then saying it plausibly


    cannot be trusted or relied upon


    fails to fulfil commitments


    is emotionally retarded with an arrested level of emotional development; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old


    is emotionally immature and emotionally untrustworthy


    exhibits unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters, sexual behaviour and bodily functions; underneath the charming exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse


    in a relationship, is incapable of initiating or sustaining intimacy


    holds deep prejudices (eg against the opposite gender, people of a different sexual orientation, other cultures and religious beliefs, foreigners, etc - prejudiced people are unvaryingly unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial aspect of their personality secret


    is self-opinionated and displays arrogance, audacity, a superior sense of entitlement and sense of invulnerability and untouchability


    has a deep-seated contempt of clients in contrast to his or her professed compassion


    is a control freak and has a compulsive need to control everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial personality disorder in their presence - but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception and their mask of sanity


    displays a compulsive need to criticise whilst simultaneously refusing to value, praise and acknowledge others, their achievements, or their existence


    shows a lack of joined-up thinking with conversation that doesn't flow and arguments that don't hold water


    flits from topic to topic so that you come away feeling you've never had a proper conversation


    refuses to be specific and never gives a straight answer


    is evasive and has a Houdini-like ability to escape accountability


    undermines and destroys anyone who the bully perceives to be an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the bully's mask


    is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise collate incriminating information about them


    is quick to discredit and neutralise anyone who can talk knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviors


    may pursue a vindictive vendetta against anyone who dares to held them accountable, perhaps using others' resources and contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and organisations in pursuance of the vendetta


    is also quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to account


    gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled to


    is highly manipulative, especially of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt)


    poisons peoples' minds by manipulating their perceptions


    when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of others, responds with impatience, irritability and aggression


    is arrogant, haughty, high-handed, and a know-all


    often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic attention-seeking need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and compassionate person, in contrast to their behaviour and treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others


    is spiritually dead although may loudly profess some religious belief or affiliation


    is mean-spirited, officious, and often unbelievably petty


    is mean, stingy, and financially untrustworthy


    is greedy, selfish, a parasite and an emotional vampire


    is always a taker and never a giver


    is convinced of their superiority and has an overbearing belief in their qualities of leadership but cannot distinguish between leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation, trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness, aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness)


    often fraudulently claims qualifications, experience, titles, entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or bogus


    often misses the semantic meaning of language, misinterprets what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a satirical, ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself


    knows the words but not the song


    is constantly imposing on others a false reality made up of distortion and fabrication


    sometimes displays a seemingly limitless demonic energy especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion of accountability and is often a committeeaholic or apparent workaholic


Responsibility


The serial bully appears to lack insight into his or her behaviour and seems to be oblivious to the crassness and inappropriateness thereof; however, it is more likely that the bully knows what they are doing but elects to switch off the moral and ethical considerations by which normal people are bound. If the bully knows what they are doing, they are responsible for their behaviour and thus liable for its consequences to other people. If the bully doesn't know what they are doing, they should be suspended from duty on the grounds of diminished responsibility and the provisions of the Mental Health Act should apply.



On this page
Introduction to the serial bully | Detailed profile of the serial bully
Types of serial bully: The Attention-Seeker, The Wannabe, The Sociopath and The Guru
Denial - avoiding acceptance of responsibility
Sexual assault and denial in the Paul Hickson case
Projection | Affairs | Validity of testimony | Other web pages
On another page
Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD) | Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD) | Borderline Personality Disorder
Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy | Attention seeking
How, where and why bullies target their victims


The focus of this page is the serial bully in the workplace, however, the profile is relevant to most types of abusers, including:


    adult bullies in the workplace


    abusive and violent partners and family members


    abusers of those in care


    bullying neighbours, landlords, authorities, etc


    con artists and swindlers


    cult leaders


    child bullies who are going to grow up (sic) to be adult bullies


    racial and sexual harassers


    sexual abusers and paedophiles


    stalkers


    arsonists


    rapists and those who commit acts of sexual violence


    violent offenders including organized serial killers (ie those not suffering paranoid schizophrenia etc)


Anecdotal evidence indicates that the serial bully in the workplace is also a serial bully at home and in the community.


The common objective of these offenders is power, control, domination and subjugation. What varies is the means by which these are pursued, ie the way in which violence is expressed. Most of the offenders in the list above commit criminal or arrestable offences; the serial bully commits mostly non-arrestable offences, for example:


    negligence


    incompetence


    maladministration


    neglect of duty


    dereliction of duty


    misappropriation of budgets


    financial irregularities and fiddling the books


    fiddling expenses


    falsifying time sheets


    pilfering


    stealing, diverting, skimming, or "losing" clients' money and investments


    embezzlement


    fraud


    deception


    malpractice


    misrepresentation


    conspiracy (eg to obstruct or pervert the course of justice)


    using the employer's resources to run their own business on the side


    moonlighting for employer's clients or competitors


    leaking information to people who should not be in possession of that information


    awarding contracts to family and friends


    failure to fulfil obligations


    breaches of health and safety regulations


    breaches of rules and regulations


    breaches of codes of conduct


    improper use of fraternal allegiances


    indiscretions


    impropriety


    inappropriate sexual conduct


    being the target of previous grievance and disciplinary action


    being the target of previous legal action (unfair dismissal, harassment, personal injury, etc)


    fraudulent qualifications and misleading or bogus claims of professional affiliation (check the bully's CV carefully)


    collusion


    corruption


    being sacked or asked to leave their previous job(s)


    recruitment through nepotism or favouritism rather than ability


    extra-marital affairs - see below


    at home: poor credit rating, verbal abuse, domestic abuse, neglect, abandonment


Most cases of bullying involve a serial bully - one person to whom all the dysfunction can be traced. The serial bully has done this before, is doing it now - and will do it again. Investigation will reveal a string of predecessors who have either left unexpectedly or in suspicious circumstances, have taken early or ill-health retirement, have been unfairly dismissed, have been involved in disciplinary or legal action, or have had stress breakdowns. Serial bullies exploit the recent frenzy of downsizing and reorganisation to hinder recognition of the pattern of previous cases.


The serial bully in the workplace is often found in a job which is a position of power, has a high administrative or procedural content but little or no creative requirement, and which provides opportunities for demonstrating a "caring" or "leadership" nature.


Introduction to the serial bully


Embittered by an abusive upbringing, seething with resentment, irritated by others' failure to fulfil his or her superior sense of entitlement, and fuelled by anger resulting from rejection, the serial bully displays an obsessive, compulsive and self-gratifying urge to displace their uncontrolled aggression onto others whilst exhibiting an apparent lack of insight into their behavior and its effect on people around them. Jealousy and envy motivate the bully to identify a competent and popular individual who is then controlled and subjugated through projection of the bully's own inadequacy and incompetence. When the target asserts their right not to be bullied, a paranoid fear of exposure compels the bully to perceive that person as a threat and hence neutralise and dispose of them as quickly as possible. Once a person has been eliminated there's an interval of between 2 days and 2 weeks before the bully chooses another target and the cycle starts again.


Detailed profile of the serial bully


The serial bully also:


    is selfish and acts out of self-interest, self-aggrandisement and self-preservation at all times; everything can be traced back to the self - even the seemingly innocuous "How are you today?" translates to "Is there any comeback on me as to how you're feeling today?"


    is insensitive, often callously indifferent to the needs of others, and especially when others are experiencing difficulty (vulnerability is a major stimulant to the serial bully)


    is incapable of reciprocity, ie unable and unwilling to reciprocate any positive gesture


    sees anyone attempting to be conciliatory as a sucker to be exploited


    uses criticism, humiliation, etc in the guise of addressing shortfalls in performance - in reality, these are for control and subjugation, not for performance enhancement


    appears to be intelligent but often performs poorly in academic or professional roles, despite appearances; the intelligence is focused exclusively on deviousness, cunning, scheming, manipulation, evasiveness, deceptiveness, quick-wittedness, craftiness, self-centredness, etc


    may be passive aggressive, blowing hot and cold, superficially cooperative but motivated by retribution, stubborn, uncoachable, use their intelligence to excuse and justify their behaviour, and they detest anyone more competent than themselves - which is most people


    is unable to maintain confidentiality, often breaching it with misrepresentation, distortion and fabrication


    distorts, twists, concocts and fabricates criticisms and allegations, and abuses the disciplinary procedures - again, for control and subjugation, not for performance enhancement


    uses gossip, back-stabbing or spreads rumours to undermine, discredit and isolate


    is untrustworthy and unable to trust others - this partly explains the compulsion for excessive monitoring other!


Just for our own selfish pleasure of making us, feel good, full of pride, what a drug!
 As only the ‘unconditional present’ is worth giving as everything else is not even a present it’s a lie. With strings attached provoking guilt and or shame, embarrassment, intimidation, control in all its devious, covert forms, four ancient enemies, of truth and love come along too: jealousy, envy, greed, and lust.

What a party.

This is supposed to be a time of ‘Good will to all’ a time of caring and sharing, of being kind to each other.
Including the excluded a time for acceptance and forgiveness and looking forward to a happy future.
But, people are dying everywhere, of all diseases, suicide or ‘bullycide’.

While this is all going on people are pushing and shoving for the best bargains, spend, spend, spend.

Does the word Christ mass come from Christ’s mass? What is it?
If Christ is part of, represents and belongs to the creator of all things perfect and good that always lasts for ever. Everything else has nothing to do with Christ-mass!
If mass means prayer, contemplation, meditation, en’mase, together on the meaning of the word Christ, what was the message?
Was it ‘Love thy neighbour’? According to ancient text it was.
True or False?
So what is Love?

You choose what you follow, right or wrong, you are supposed to be responsible for all your actions, no matter what. It’s your choice.

It may not be easy, it usually isn’t, to have the ability to respond, ‘respons-ibility’ to act in accordance with the truth, i.e. why and what’s the reason for being born, living a short life here and then dying.

Why have we got a mind to think with and to question everything, not just a robot or computer to follow orders? who made the rules and what are the real laws. you should know this by now, or not?

Do you follow mob rule, ‘the majority’ so called democracy =  rule by force.
Or do you be the odd one out that gets bullied from all quarters and still keeps smiling, knowing that what is death to the caterpillar is life to the butterfly.

That there is a bigger picture and what sort of mind that you have the power to control and shape by your control of your own thoughts, imagination, actions and deeds.
Replacing negative selfish thoughts with positive kind unconditional thoughts; where will this mind end up?

If there is nothing either good or bad at the end of this life, then why not just go on a rampage to rid the world of bullies? Because then we become the same as them exactly, martyrs the same as terrorists.

when everything gets overwhelming , just stop everything your doing, keep your kindness be kind to your self before you can be kind to another. (specks  of wood, need removing, you know where from)



 


    is drawn to positions of power and abuses that power


    alters the employer's procedures to make it difficult or impossible for others to hold the bully accountable using those procedures


    is autocratic and dictatorial, often using phrases like "you shouldn't..." or "you ought to..."


    may appear superficially competent and professional at their job, but behind the facade is inadequate, inept, poor at their job, often incompetent; survives only by plagiarising other people's work, and being carried by those they bully


    wraps himself or herself in a flag or tradition and usurps others' objectives, thereby nurturing compliance, reverence, deference, endorsement and obeisance; however, such veneration and allegiance is divisive, being a corruption for personal power which exhibits itself through the establishment of a clique, coterie, cabal, faction, or gang


    is a divisive and disruptive influence, their departments are dysfunctional and inefficient, and their behavior prevents staff from performing their duties


    is unusually susceptible to minor slights or perceived slights and bears grudges which may be acted on years later when the transgressor can be denied promotion or downsized in the bully's "reorganisation"


    gains gratification from provoking people into emotional or irrational responses but is quick to claim provocation by others when challenged


    has a short-term focus and often cannot think or plan ahead more than 24 hours


    appears to have a short, selective memory and often cannot or will not remember what they said, did, or committed to more than 24 hours ago - but is always able to remember your faults, often from years ago


    the serial bully seems to live in a bubble of the present and when challenged will spontaneously make things up; the bully genuinely seems to believe the fabrication; from a psychiatric viewpoint this could be called confabulation; from a moral viewpoint, it's called lying


    is often like a child who has never grown up


    exhibits immature behaviour and poor manners


    has poor communication skills, poor interpersonal skills, poor social skills


    often misses social cues


    has poor language skills, and uses almost exclusively negative language with few or no positive words; is often limited to parroting fad phrases and regurgitating the latest management jargon


    has poorly-defined moral and ethical boundaries


    acts out of gratification and self-interest only, often using and hiding behind the employer


    extrovert bullies tend to be shouters and screamers, are highly visible, and bully from the front


    extrovert bullies can be charismatic and seem to be able to bewitch people into following and supporting them


    introvert bullies - the most dangerous types - tend to sit in the background and recruit others to do the bullying for them - when dealing with this type of bullying, identify the arch-bully in the background and focus single-mindedly on that person - the others will melt away


    is a killjoy, a wet blanket, is unreceptive and finds fault with or pours scorn on other people's ideas and suggestions, but may regurgitate them later claiming to be the originator


    often has a hatred of a sector of society, eg ethnic minorities, disabled people, etc


    often has a hatred of certain professional groups, eg psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, counsellors, therapists


    is unimaginative and lacks the skills of creativity and innovation


    rarely has any ideas of his or her own; tends to regurgitate what others (especially superiors) say rather than use own thinking


    is a plagiarist, steals other people's work - and the credit for it


    has a writing style that is disjointed, lacks flow and consistency, tends to make contradictory statements, and has the feel of a young teenager trying to write like a grown-up (apologies to teenagers)


    often uses false praise or praise which is inappropriate to the circumstances; this is partly to make the bully feel good, partly for the benefit of witnesses, partly poor judgement, partly immaturity, and partly for control and subjugation to throw their target off guard


    is unable and unwilling to value others and their contributions and achievements; is often scornful


    shows discrepancy in valuing tasks, deliberately devaluing the work and achievements of others; when the bully does a certain job, it's onerous, difficult and the bully needs lots of recognition; when their target does the same job it's trivial, of little or no value, not worth mentioning


    is ungrateful and rarely (if ever) says "thank you" or "well done" (except, perhaps, if impressionable witnesses are present)


    is frequently sarcastic, especially in contexts where sarcasm is inappropriate and unprofessional


    is unable to assess the importance of events and tasks, often making an unnecessary fuss over trivia whilst ignoring important or urgent things


    exhibits duplicity and hypocrisy, eg says one thing one day and denies it the next


    often has an overwhelming (and unhealthy) need to feel recognised and wanted


    is fastidious, often has an unhealthy obsession with cleanliness or orderliness


    is insincere and false


    has never learnt the skills of and has little concept of empathy; may use charm and mimicry to compensate


    attempts at empathy are superficial, amateur, often inappropriate or inappropriately high, and based on mimicry rather than genuine concern - and are for the purpose of making the bully look and feel good, especially in front of witnesses


    when required to show empathy, eg someone is in distress or needs help, responds either with impatience and aggression (if no-one else is present), or with a fulsome and effusive attempt at empathy (if witnesses are present)


    is unwilling to apologise for mistakes, except occasionally when witnesses are present, then the apology is fulsome, artificial, and inappropriate - but sufficiently convincing for peers and superiors


    is quick to blame others


    is uncharacteristically fulsome and effusive, especially in front of witnesses - but hollow and insincere


    is devious and manipulative (especially female bullies)


    is spiteful and vengeful (ditto)


    uses aggression almost exclusively but claims to be assertive (assertiveness is about recognising and respecting the rights of oneself and others)


    has unpredictable mood swings, blows hot and cold, often suddenly and without warning


    is inconsistent in their judgement, often overruling, ignoring or denying what they said previously


    is inflexible and unable to evaluate options and alternatives


    is unforgiving and often seizes on and exploits others' mistakes or perceived mistakes


    is financially irresponsible and often has a bad credit rating


    has a cavalier attitude to Health and Safety


    is quick to anger and often has an unpredictable temper


    can be unpredictably and disarmingly pleasant, especially when you are unmasking them in front others - this plays on people's sympathies and is a use of guilt for manipulation and control


    is often humourless and emotionally flat; attempts at humour are often shallow and superficial


    is insecure and sees others as a threat; the threat seems to comprise a fear of exposure of inadequacy, and often borders on paranoia; the individual may have a paranoid personality


    is uncommunicative and uncooperative, and is evasive when asked for information (eg by subordinates)


    for communication, often relies excessively or exclusively on memos, emails, yellow stickies, or third parties and other strategies for avoiding face-to-face contact


    has no listening skills, ignores and overrules you; it can be like talking to a brick wall


    displays inappropriate and hostile body language


    makes inappropriate eye contact, either too little (or none at all) or too much (staring)


    often reported as having an evil stare, sometimes with eyes that appear black rather than coloured


    is unable to sustain a mature adult conversation (you may only realise this in retrospect)


    sees people as objects (in the same way that child sex abusers and rapists see their targets as objects for their gratification)


    often displays interpersonal behavior that is ill-advised, especially with a sexual overtone, eg invasion of intimate zone, gestures or comments which include inappropriate sexual references or innuendo, being inappropriately intimate with clients, being too friendly too soon, etc


    is incapable of intimacy


    lacks a conscience and shows no remorse


    displays excessive and rigid adherence to procedures, rules, regulations etc, usually as a cover for lack of creativity; their work is largely bureaucratic in nature and obedience of orders from above is a priority


    finds ritual important and comforting, and frequently indulges in ritual and ritualistic activity


    often forms or joins lots of committees to look busy and important but never achieves anything of significance or value


    when called upon to exercise judgement, relies on and insists on rigid adherence to procedures and rules (this is an abdication of responsibility and an admission of inability to manage)


    gains gratification from bullying people by imposing rules, regulations, laws etc and insisting on adherence thereto, regardless of their relevance or efficacy


    often exhibits a psychopathic personality, the main features of which are:


    an unwillingness to conform to the rules of society: thinks that rules, regulations, procedures and the law do not apply to them - but insists that others adhere rigidly


    an inability to tolerate minor frustrations


    a tendency to act impulsively, recklessly and randomly


    an inability to form stable relationships (the bully's private life is usually a mess)


    an inability or unwillingness to learn from past experience, however unpleasant - this "learning blindness" is a key feature of the serial bully and differentiates the serial bully from the unwitting bully; this inability to learn seems to be concentrated in the area of interpersonal, social, communication and behavioural skills; closer inspection suggests that the bully does learn from experience, but only how be more secretive and how to be more skilled at evading accountability


Other adjectives to describe the serial bully include cunning, conniving, scheming, calculating, cruel, sadistic, ruthless, treacherous, premeditated, exploitative, pernicious, malevolent, obnoxious, opportunist, unconcerned, etc.


The lack of interpersonal, social, and empathic skills are reminiscent of autism; the serial bully relies almost entirely on rules, procedures, aggression, denial and mimicry to hide their lack of people skills. Psychopaths and sociopaths are often excellent actors and mimics.


Most people with this profile are incompetent at their job and the bullying is intended to hide this incompetence. However, a few recent cases suggest that some serial bullies (especially the quiet ones):


    are good at carrying out rule-based or procedurally-oriented jobs which require no free thinking or imagination; these people fall down when required to step outside this role, eg dealing with people


    (especially males) excel in one area of work (usually scientific in nature) and may be regarded as the leading authority in their field but are lacking in almost every other respect, especially in interpersonal skills (this is reminiscent of savant syndrome); they also tend to be physically aggressive and may have a reputation for sexual harassment


New! Serial bully types


Attention-Seeker | Wannabe | Guru | Sociopath


The profile above covers the most commonly-reported behaviours of serial bullies. From casework I've been able to identify four primary types of serial bully:


The Attention-Seeker


Motivation: to be the centre of attention
Mindset: control freak, manipulation, narcissism
Malice: medium to high; when held accountable, very high


    emotionally immature


    selectively friendly - is sickly sweet to some people, rude and offhand to others, and ignores the rest


    is cold and aggressive towards anyone who sees them for what they really are or exposes their strategies for gaining attention


    overfriendly with their new target, especially in the initial stages of a new working relationship


    overhelpful, ditto


    overgenerous, ditto


    manipulative of people's perceptions, but in an amateur and childish manner


    manipulative with guilt, ditto


    sycophantic, fawning, toadying


    uses flattery to keep a person in authority on side


    everything is a drama, usually a poor-me drama


    prefers not to solve problems in own life so that they can be used and re-used for gaining sympathy and attention


    capitalises on issues and uses them as a soapbox for gaining attention


    exploits others' suffering and grief as a vehicle for gaining attention


    misappropriates others' statements, eg anything which can be misconstrued as politically incorrect, for control and attention-seeking


    excusitis, makes excuses for everything


    shows a lot of indignation, especially when challenged


    lots of self-pity


    demanding of others


    easily provoked


    feigns victimhood when held accountable, usually by bursting into tears or claiming they're the one being bullied and harassed


    presents as a false victim when outwitted


    may feign exclusion, isolation or persecution


    malicious


    constantly tries and will do almost anything to be in the spotlight


    includes Munchausen Syndrome


    the focus of their life is to be the centre of attention


The Wannabe


Motivation: craves respect for being competent and professional despite lacking in competence and professionalism
Mindset: deceptive
Malice: low to medium; when held accountable, medium to high


    similar to the attention-seeker


    is one of life's chronic underperformers and is best described as ineffectual in everything


    craves undeserved respect and attention and will go to considerable lengths to acquire them


    hangs around the fringes of a profession


    not professionally qualified but claims they are a professional because they sit next to a professional or work alongside or near or in the midst of professionals, or provide services to professionals


    lacks the ability, competence and professionalism to be a qualified professional


    wants so much to be seen as competent professional person but is unable and unwilling to put in the work to achieve this


    is unable and unwilling to apply knowledge gained from experience but instead devotes time and effort to improving skills of deception, manipulation, false claim, denial and projection


    may have been rejected by their chosen profession for lack of competence


    is spiteful towards and despises anyone who is qualified in the profession from which the bully has been excluded by virtue of lack of competence


    is likely to be vilifying the profession they want to belong to or which they're claiming to be part of or which they are claiming to represent


    displays a deep-seated envy and jealousy of the professionals that he or she works alongside or claims to serve


    harbours a bitter resentment, grudge, distaste and contempt for the professionals that he or she works alongside or claims to serve


    is likely to be criticising, condemning, disadvantaging and causing detriment to the professionals he or she works alongside or claims to serve


    may seek positions of power over the professionals he or she works alongside or claims to serve, perhaps to facilitate a compulsion to criticise, condemn, disadvantage and cause detriment


    is irresistibly drawn to organisations, roles and positions which offer the wannabe power and control over the professionals s/he despises (eg inspection regimes, approval roles, regulatory bodies, ticksheet compliance schemes, political correctness police, trade union official, etc) - and is often described as a talentless jobsworth


    when in a position of power associates with and makes alliances with or surrounds him or herself with clones, drones, minions, fellow wannabes, sycophants and brown-nosers


    instinctively objects to any suggestion of change, reform, improvement, progress or evolution, but has no viable or positive alternatives of their own


    opposes every idea, suggestion, opinion, contribution or reform on principle but has no original, positive, constructive ideas or contributions of his or her own


    is likely to plagiarise and steal others' ideas which are then put forward as their own


    may place undue emphasis or reliance on an old, minor or irrelevant qualification to bolster their claim of belonging to or deserving to belong to a profession


    may claim ambiguous or misleading or bogus or fraudulent qualifications, associations and experience


    displays a superior sense of entitlement because they associate with or serve higher performers


    emotionally immature


    controlling


    easily provoked


    when challenged is adept at rewriting history to portray themselves as competent, professional and successful, regardless of multiple witnesses and overwhelming evidence to the contrary


    quickly and loudly feigns victimhood when exposed and held accountable, often repeatedly and loudly accusing the person holding them accountable of being a bully


    when held accountable makes conflicting and contradictory threats and demands (eg demands apology but orders the other person not to communicate with them)


    when held accountable makes lots of loud but empty threats (eg of legal action such as libel, slander, defamation etc)


    only carries out threats of legal action when in the presence of a superior serial bully, especially a sociopath type


    may indulge their jealousy and envy of professionals or those they claim to serve by pursuing vindictive vendettas, sometimes with the help of a superior serial bully, especially a sociopath type


    is easily manipulated and controlled by a superior serial bully


    female wannabes may be arch bullies (some people might call them puppetmasters or queen bees)


    may surround herself with drones of the opposite sex


    may exploit some perceived vulnerability in self to ensure drone loyalty


    gives the appearance of loyalty to drones but will discard them when they've served their purpose


    is likely to have affairs to gain power, status or position


The Guru


Motivation: task focused
Mindset: confusion, inability to understand how others think and feel
Malice: zero to low; when held accountable, low to medium (it's often the absence of malice that identifies a guru type of serial bully) but could be medium to high if narcissistic or psychopathic traits are present


    often successful in their narrow field of expertise


    regarded as an expert


    valued by the employer because s/he brings in the money, status etc


    ruthlessly pursues objectives regardless of the cost


    ruthless determination to succeed


    can be successful over the medium term in their field


    task focused


    zero people skills


    control freak


    mainly but not exclusively male


    often has a favourite who receives extra attention but who is expected to reciprocate with sycophancy


    favours, protects and promotes non-threatening sycophants whilst marginalizing and hindering the advancement of those with higher levels of competence, especially in people skills


    apt to betray those formerly favoured, especially when the favoured person starts to show independence of thought or action, or starts to receive more attention or become more popular than their mentor


    a male Guru in a position of power may exhibit inappropriate sexual conduct


    gauche, aggressive and unpleasant but not evil


    may not be overtly attention-seeking but dislikes those around them getting more attention than they're getting, or getting attention which doesn't include the bully


    selfish, self-centred, self-opinionated and thoughtless and with a tendency to pontificate


    apt to throw temper tantrums when things don't go well or can't get their own way


    emotionally immature, perhaps emotionless, sometimes cold and frigid


    convincingly intellectualises feelings to compensate for emotional immaturity


    intelligent (often highly) but lacks common sense


    is happy to lie to suit own purposes


    can have a rigid routine


    does not accept responsibility for their own behavior


    blames others for own inadequacies


    refuses to recognise that they could have any shortcomings of their own


    does not live in the present


    usually extremely neat (for example, desk is always clear)


    organized (sometimes overly)


    tempts fate but always gets away with it


    has stereotypical ideas about gender roles (though this may not be expressed consciously)


    makes assumptions about others' thoughts


    does not follow social rules, for example may display bad table manners in public


    seems to exhibit some symptoms similar to autism, although autistic people tend to be shy, introspective and lack manipulative skills and are usually the targets of bullying, not the perpetrators (it's unknown whether there might be a common cause or whether the similarities are just a superficial coincidence) [more on autism]


    appears unable to read people and their thoughts and especially feelings


    when held accountable exhibits genuine confusion as to why their behaviour is inappropriate


    in cases where malice is low or absent the person my be regarded as somewhat avuncular or mildly jovial or charismatic in nature


    likes the appearance of normalcy but rejects responsibilities of relationships


    is unable to comprehend or meet the emotional needs of others


    often puts work and duty above everything, including relationships


    makes power plays, for example leaves the room when someone is speaking, or pretends not to hear and constantly asking a person to repeat what they just said, etc


    doesn't share information about self (thoughts, insights, etc) and is not open to receiving this type of information from others (allegedly knows it all already)


    secretive


    possessive of objects and sometimes people


    may view people as objects (this enables controlling behaviour of other people)


    thinks of self as superior and above the law / rules / regulations etc (these only apply to other people)


    uses denial as a defence mechanism


    there are likely to be problems with succession


The Socialised Psychopath or Sociopath


Also known as the corporate psychopath, workplace psychopath, industrial psychopath and administrative psychopath.


Motivation: power, gratification, personal gain, survival
Mindset: manipulation, deception, evil
Malice: high to very high; when held accountable, off the scale


    Jekyll & Hyde personality


    always charming and beguilingly plausible, especially to those who are capable of protecting or enhancing the sociopath's position


    excels at deception (this must never be underestimated, but always is)


    excels at evasion of accountability


    is extremely and successfully manipulative of people's perceptions and emotions (eg guilt and anger)


    silver-tongued, has an extreme verbal facility and can outwit anybody (including a top barrister) in verbal conflict


    will often engineer himself or herself into a position of authority as gatekeeper of the organisation and thus the person through whom all information must flow, and the person to whom all requests for services must be referred - which he or she then takes delight in denying


    is adept at appearing to offer weak and inadequate people the positions of power, control, security, influence or respect that they crave but would otherwise be unable to achieve - such people are unaware that their consequent dependence on the sociopath makes them permanent manipulatees and pawns


    identifies those essential to the sociopath's survival and manipulates their perceptions them by making them feel special and thus obligated to reciprocate with support and protection


    manipulates others into making fools of themselves in situations where they cannot back down or from which they cannot withdraw - these people become increasingly susceptible to further manipulation and are then trapped as pawns in the sociopath's game


    is likely to be surrounded by people who, having been subjected to control, manipulation and punishment by the sociopath, look wretched and who start to exhibit behaviour best described as disordered, dysfunctional, sullen, aggressive, defensive, hostile, retaliatory, counterproductive or cult-like and for whom disbelief, disavowal and denial are instinctive responses


    creates an environment where levels of denial are so great that those involved are oblivious of the foolishness and self-evident absurdity of their denials when presented with the facts, with the result that non-involved observers are led to question whether such levels of denial merit psychiatric intervention


    is contemptuous of disrepute to their organisation and of collateral damage and of the destructive consequences for all direct and indirect parties 


    is always surrounded by and leaves behind a trail of dysfunctional organisations, destroyed businesses, ruined careers, stress breakdowns and unexplained suicides


    despite a trail of devastation to individuals, organisations, families and communities, the actions of a socialised psychopath may go undetected or unrecognised for years


    a history of conducting frivolous, vexatious and malicious legal actions, especially (but not exclusively) against anyone who can recognise the sociopath for what he is


    only after the sociopath is exposed and relieved of position, or they move on, can the full depth of their destructive behaviour be fathomed and the consequences calculated


    is skilled at identifying, undermining, discrediting, neutralising and destroying anyone who can see through the sociopath's mask of sanity


    at all times restricts the actions and rights of others (especially those holding the sociopath accountable) whilst aggressively protecting his or her right to do anything without being hampered by social norms or legal requirements


    pursues endless vindictive vendettas against anyone perceived as a threat or who attempts, knowingly or unknowingly, to identify or reveal or expose the sociopath, or who makes efforts to hold the sociopath accountable


    is adept at appropriating rules, regulations, procedures and law to manipulate, control and punish accusers regardless of relevance, logic, facts or consequences


    persists in and pursues vindictive vendettas using self-evidently false evidence or information, even after this is brought to the attention of the sociopath


    will often manipulate minor bullies of the Wannabe type (who on their own might or would not merit the label 'serial bully') into acting as agents of harassment and as unwitting or unwilling conductors of vendettas


    is adept at placing people in situations where the sociopath can tap into each person's instinctive urge to retaliate in order to use them as his or her instruments or agents of harassment


    gains gratification from provoking others into engaging in adversarial conflict


    once conflict has been initiated, the sociopath gains increased gratification by exploiting human beings' instinctive need to retaliate - this is achieved by encouraging and escalating peoples' adversarial conflicts into mutually assured destruction


    revels in the gratification gained from seeing or causing other people's distress


    when faced with accountability or unwelcome attention which might lead to others discerning the sociopath's true nature, responds with repeated and escalating attempts to control, manipulate and punish


    is adept at reflecting all accusations and attempts at accountability back onto their accusers


    is adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise pool negative information about the sociopath


    has no limits on his or her vindictiveness


    the need to control, manipulate and punish develops into an obsession with many of the hallmarks of an addiction


    is skilled at mimicry and can plausibly and spontaneously regurgitate all the latest management jargon


    exhibits minimal professional skill level and competency


    exploits his or her intelligence to excel at talentless mediocrity


    is always identifying the behaviours and strategies to which other people respond with the desired effect


    is able to anticipate and credibly say what people want to hear


    is easily able to win people over before betraying them or deceiving them or ripping them off


    easily manipulates and bewitches an immature or naive or vulnerable or emotionally needy person to be their spokesperson or agent of aggression


    exploits anyone who has a vulnerability


    is pushy and extremely persuasive


    is sexually inadequate and sexually abusive


    is likely to protect anyone accused of or suspected of sexual abuse of pedophile activity, and will frustrate or obstruct investigations into that person


    maybe associating with, or actively involved in, abuse or pedophile activity


    has no emotions, no emotional processing capability and no ability to understand other's emotions


    is incapable of understanding, initiating or sustaining intimacy


    the male sociopath has often convinced a string of women to feel they are in love with him and despite being treated abominably they blindly continue to be loyal to him and minister willingly to his every demand


    may start projects with apparent enthusiasm and energy but quickly loses interest


    frequently takes unnecessary and uncalculated risks but takes no account of consequences


    is reckless and untrustworthy with money


    is likely to be illegally diverting or siphoning off significant sums of money to his or her own budget, project, account or cause


    is unreliable and untrustworthy in every facet of life


    is likely to be leaking confidential information or secrets to third parties


    is likely to have committed or be committing criminal or near-criminal offences, eg fraud, embezzlement, deception


    is likely to have committed or be committing breaches of harassment and discrimination law, employment law, contract law, etc


    disregards rules, regulations, Health and Safety requirements, professional standards, codes of conduct and legal requirements, etc


    cannot comprehend the deeper semantic meaning of language and is thus unable to understand or appreciate metaphor, hyperbole, irony, satire etc (these elicit either zero response or a hostile response)


    likes, seeks, enjoys and relies on procedure, ritual and ritualistic practices


    through arrogant overconfidence takes increasingly risky chances and eventually overplays their hand or makes a mistake which leads to the sociopath revealing him or herself


    exhibits parasitical behaviour, takes everything and gives nothing


    grabs headline credit for minimal, flukey or other peoples' success whilst surviving off the backs of manipulatees who are exclusively blamed for all failures


    is callous, cold and calculatim    is devious, clever and cunning


    is ruthless in the extreme


    regards people as objects and playthings to be discarded when surplus to requirements


    displays zero empathy


    completely without conscience, remorse and guilt


    malicious and evil


Power over people


The serial bully is able to exert a hold over people for a variety of reasons.


Targets are disempowered such that they become dependent on the bully to allow them to get through each day without their life being made hell.


The serial bully is often able to bewitch an emotionally needy colleague into supporting them; this person then becomes the bully's spokesperson and advocate. How people can be so easily and repeatedly taken in by the bully's glib charm, Jekyll and Hyde nature, and constant lying is a mystery. Psychopaths are especially adept at conning people in this manner.


Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD)


The serial bully exhibits behaviours similar to or congruent with the diagnostic criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder.


Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)


The serial bully exhibits behaviours similar to or congruent with the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder.


Paranoid Personality Disorder (PPD)


The serial bully exhibits behaviours similar to or congruent with the diagnostic criteria for Paranoid Personality Disorder.


Borderline Personality Disorder


Some visitors to Bully OnLine have suggested that the bullies in their lives exhibit characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder.


Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder


See http://www.toad.net/~arcturus/dd/ddhome.htm


Personality Disorders


There's more on Personality Disorders at http://www.toad.net/~arcturus/dd/ourdesk.htm


Avoiding acceptance of responsibility - denial, counterattack and feigning victimhood


The serial bully is an adult on the outside but a child on the inside; he or she is like a child who has never grown up. One suspects that the bully is emotionally retarded and has a level of emotional development equivalent to a five-year-old, or less. The bully wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that go with enjoying the benefits of the adult world. In short, the bully has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behaviour.


When called to account for the way they have chosen to behave, the bully instinctively exhibits this recognisable behavioural response:


a) Denial: the bully denies everything. Variations include Trivialization ("This is so trivial it's not worth talking about...") and the Fresh Start tactic ("I don't know why you're so intent on dwelling on the past" and "Look, what's past is past, I'll overlook your behaviour and we'll start afresh") - this is an abdication of responsibility by the bully and an attempt to divert and distract attention by using false conciliation. Imagine if this line of defence were available to all criminals ("Look I know I've just murdered 12 people but that's all in the past, we can't change the past, let's put it behind us, concentrate on the future so we can all get on with our lives" - this would do wonders for prison overcrowding).

b) Retaliation: the bully counterattacks. The bully quickly and seamlessly follows the denial with an aggressive counter-attack of counter-criticism or counter-allegation, often based on distortion or fabrication. Lying, deception, duplicity, hypocrisy and blame are the hallmarks of this stage. The purpose is to avoid answering the question and thus avoid accepting responsibility for their behaviour. Often the target is tempted - or coerced - into giving another long explanation to prove the bully's allegation false; by the time the explanation is complete, everybody has forgotten the original question.


Both a) and b) are delivered with aggression in the guise of assertiveness; in fact there is no assertiveness (which is about recognising and respecting the rights of oneself and others) at all. Note that explanation - of the original question - is conspicuous by its absence.


c) Feigning victimhood: in the unlikely event of denial and counter-attack being insufficient, the bully feigns victimhood or feigns persecution by manipulating people through their emotions, especially guilt. This commonly takes the form of bursting into tears, which most people cannot handle. Variations include indulgent self-pity, feigning indignation, pretending to be "devastated", claiming they're the one being bullied or harassed, claiming to be "deeply offended", melodrama, martyrdom ("If it wasn't for me...") and a poor-me drama ("You don't know how hard it is for me ... blah blah blah ..." and "I'm the one who always has to...", "You think you're having a hard time ...", "I'm the one being bullied..."). Other tactics include manipulating people's perceptions to portray themselves as the injured party and the target as the villain of the piece. Or presenting as a false victim. Sometimes the bully will suddenly claim to be suffering "stress" and go off on long-term sick leave, although no-one can quite establish why. Alleged ill-health can also be a useful vehicle for gaining attention and sympathy. For suggestions on how to counter this see the advice on the FAQ page.


By using this response, the bully is able to avoid answering the question and thus avoid accepting responsibility for what they have said or done. It is a pattern of behaviour learnt by about the age of 3; most children learn or are taught to grow out of this, but some are not and by adulthood, this avoidance technique has been practised to perfection.


A further advantage of the denial/counter-attack/feigning victimhood strategy is that it acts as a provocation. The target, who may have taken months to reach this stage, sees their tormentor getting away with it and is provoked into an angry and emotional outburst after which the bully says simply "There, I told you s/he was like that". Anger is one of the mechanisms by which bullies (and all abusers) control their targets. By tapping in to and obtaining an inappropriate release of pent-up anger the bully plays their master stroke and casts their victim as villain.


When called to account for the way they have chosen to behave, mature adults do not respond by bursting into tears. If you're dealing with a serial bully who has just exhibited this avoidance tactic, sit passively and draw attention to the pattern of behaviour they've just exhibited, and then the purpose of the tactic. Then ask for an answer to the question.


Bullies also rely on the denial of others and the fact that when their target reports the abuse they will be disbelieved ("are your sure this is really going on?", "I find it hard to believe - are you sure you're not imagining it?"). Frequently targets are asked why they didn't report the abuse before, and they will usually reply "because I didn't think anyone would believe me." Sadly they are often right in this assessment. Because of the Jekyll & Hyde nature, compulsive lying, and plausibility, no-one can - or wants - to believe it. Click here for a detailed explanation of the target's reluctance to report abuse.


Denial features in most cases of sexual assault, as in the case of Paul Hickson, the UK Olympic swimming coach who sexually assaulted and raped teenage girls in his care over a period of 20 years or more. When his victims were asked why they didn't report the abuse, most replied "Because I didn't think anyone would believe me". Abusers confidently, indeed arrogantly, rely on this belief, often aggressively inculcating (instilling) the belief ("No-one will ever believe you") just after the sexual assault when their victim is in a distressed state. Targets of bullying in the workplace often come up against the same attitudes by management when they report a bullying colleague. In a workplace environment, the bully usually recruits one or two colleagues (sometimes one is a sleeping partner - see Affairs below) who will back up the bully's denial when called to account.


Reflection


Serial bullies harbour a particular hatred of anyone who can articulate their behaviour profile, either verbally or in writing - as on this page - in a manner which helps other people see through their deception and their mask of deceit. The usual instinctive response is to launch a bitter personal attack on the person's credentials, lack of qualifications, and right to talk about personality disorders, psychopathic personality etc, whilst preserving their right to talk about anything they choose - all the while adding nothing to the debate themselves.


Serial bullies hate to see themselves and their behaviour reflected as if they are looking into a mirror.


Projection


Bullies project their inadequacies, shortcomings, behaviours etc on to other people to avoid facing up to their inadequacy and doing something about it (learning about oneself can be painful), and to distract and divert attention away from themselves and their inadequacies. Projection is achieved through blame, criticism and allegation; once you realise this, every criticism, allegation etc that the bully makes about their target is actually an admission or revelation about themselves. This knowledge can be used to perceive the bully's own misdemeanours; for instance, when the allegations are of financial or sexual impropriety, it is likely that the bully has committed these acts; when the bully makes an allegation of abuse (such allegations tend to be vague and non-specific), it is likely to be the bully who has committed the abuse. When the bully makes allegations of, say, "cowardice" or "negative attitude" it is the bully who is a coward or has a negative attitude.


In these circumstances, the bully has to understand that if specious and insubstantive allegations are made, the bully will also be investigated.


When the symptoms of psychiatric injury become apparent to others, most bullies will play the Mental Health Trap, claiming their target is "mentally ill" or "mentally unstable" or has a "mental health problem". It is more likely that this allegation is a projection of the bully's own mental health problems. If this trap is being used on you, assert "projection" as a defence against disciplinary action or as part of your legal proceedings.


It is a key identifying feature of a person with a personality disorder or psychopathic personality that, when called to account, they will accuse the person who is unmasking them of being the one with the personality disorder or psychopathic personality from which they (the bully) suffer.


Affairs


Of over 10,000 cases of bullying reported to Bully OnLine and the UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line, in at least half the cases, the bully is having an affair with another member of staff. The affair has little to do with friendship, and a lot to do with strategic alliance in pursuit of power, control, domination and subjugation. In a further quarter of cases, there's often a suspected affair, and in the remaining quarter, there is often a relationship with another member of staff based not so much on sexual attraction but on a mutual admiration for the way each other behaves.


If the bully is a female in a junior position, she finds a weak male in a senior position (this is usually not difficult) - for example the President, Chief Executive, any Senior Executive, Finance Director, Personnel Director, or Departmental Director, etc - then gains patronage, protection and reward (eg promotion) by traditional methods. Once promotion is gained, the female calculates who can give her the next promotion; if the first male cannot, he is ditched and another adopted. The males are unlikely to admit this is happening or has happened.


If the bully is a male in a senior position, he is often sleeping with a secretary or office administrator, as this is where he gets his information and where he spreads his disinformation. Sometimes the female junior can be identified by her reward, eg being the only person allowed to hold the keys of the stock cupboard (everyone has to grovel to her if they want a new pen), or being put in charge of the office in the bully's absence when there are others who are senior to her who would make more appropriate deputies.


Most serial bullies have unhappy and unsatisfactory private lives which are characterised by a string of broken relationships. If you are the current target of a serial bully and taking legal action, a little digging into the bully's past, including their personal life, will usually unearth some unsavoury facts that the bully would prefer not to be made public. In some cases, serial bullies have been found to have criminal convictions for fraud, or to have been compelled to attend therapy or counselling for their habit of compulsive lying, or they might have a record of domestic violence. Under normal circumstances making these facts part of the proceedings might be considered unethical; however, if you're the target of a serial bully, the circumstances are not normal.


Validity of testimony


Because of the serial bully's Jekyll and Hyde nature, compulsive lying, charm and plausibility, the validity of this person's testimony cannot be relied on in disciplinary proceedings, appeal hearings, and under oath at tribunal and in court. Emphasise this when taking action.


Mediation with this type of individual is inappropriate. Serial bullies regard mediation (and arbitration, conciliation, negotiation etc) as appeasement, which they ruthlessly exploit; it allows them to give the impression in public that they are negotiating and being conciliatory, whilst in private they continue the bullying. The lesson of the twentieth century is that you do not appease aggressors.


The disordered thinking processes of the criminal / antisocial mind are succinctly described in Stanton E Samenow's book Straight talk about criminals. For example:


"Certain people who I term non-arrestable criminals behave criminally towards others , but they are sufficiently fearful [and knowledgeable of the law - TF] so that they do not commit major crimes. We all know them: individuals who shamelessly use others to gain advantage for themselves. Having little empathy, they single-mindedly pursue their objectives and have little remorse for the injuries they inflict. If others take them to task, they become indignant and self-righteous and blame circumstances. Such people share much in common with the person who makes crime a way of life. Although they may not have broken the law, they nonetheless victimize others."
(Chapter 8, The criminal mind exists independent of particular laws, culture or customs)


In Samenow's 1984 book Inside the criminal mind he uses this description:


"Some criminals are smooth rather than contentious, ingratiating rather than surly, devious rather than intimidating. They pretend to be interested in what others say. Appearing to invite suggestions, they inwardly dismiss each idea without considering its merits. They seem to take criticism in stride but ignore it and spitefully make mental note of who the critic was. They misuse authority and betray trust but are not blatant about doing so. With the criminal at the helm, employee morale deteriorates. His method of operation sooner or later discourages others from proposing innovative ideas and developing creative solutions."
(Chapter 6, Work and the criminal)


I recommend both Samenow's books.